


Not As It Seems

by SweetSamOfMine (AudreeJo)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Lucifer's Cage, Trials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2469872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreeJo/pseuds/SweetSamOfMine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The prompt for this was: Sam finishing the Trials and reuniting with Jess in Heaven</p>
    </blockquote>





	Not As It Seems

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt for this was: Sam finishing the Trials and reuniting with Jess in Heaven

Sam was nearly certain what awaited him after death. He was pretty much convinced that he wouldn’t make it into to Heaven even if he  _had_  gotten a glimpse of what his would look like. But since then, he had endured centuries of torture in the Cage with Lucifer himself, so he was pretty sure, after the things that happened to him there, Heaven would reject his soul just based on principle. He was so tainted in every way possible, at every level a person could be ruined, and while Sam was generally a hopeful person, when it came to himself he was a realist. 

But the idea of going to Hell didn’t scare him, not like it might a regular person. The Cage taught him things no one else could possibly understand about eternal torment and in that way he was more prepared than most people who would end up in Hell.

That’s why he didn’t hesitate to plunge that needle into Crowley’s arm one last time, despite his brother’s screams to stop. Sam could slam the Gates of Hell shut for good, he could save the world and restore it for Dean. If he had to be locked up in there, too, so be it. This was the only way to make up for all the ways he had fallen short as a hunter, as a person, as a brother.

As Sam muttered the Latin phrase to end the Trails with his broken, raspy voice, Dean dove towards him, trying to knock the piece of paper the phrase was written on out of his hands. He was too late, and instead he caught his brother in his arms, landing hard on the concrete floor of the abandoned church. Sam was draped across Dean’s lap as Dean cradled him, still slightly glowing as the magic and life drained from his body. Sam heard Dean scream his name. Then he heard him weeping bitterly, felt Dean crushing him against his chest, then sound and sight and smell and every sense he ever had faded and was no more. 

Sam braced himself for what he knew was coming: pain, fear, and humiliation. He waited for the heat of the place, the stench of rotting and burning flesh, the constant terror of wondering what came next even though you already knew. But instead, as feeling returned to his body, he felt himself still being cradled against someone and saw brightness and felt warmth, though not the kind of warmth he remembered from the Cage. 

Maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe the Trials hadn’t actually finished him off. Maybe Kevin had read that part wrong. 

He blinked, pulling away from the arms around him to find a smiling face he knew all too well staring back at him, chunks of blonde curls falling around her face.

Sam was wrong. He  _was_  dead. This  _was_  Hell. And the mind games were already beginning. 

Sam scrambled back away from Jess with wide eyes full of terror. All the courage he had before was gone. No matter how much agony you endure, you can never be prepared for more. Not really. 

"It’s okay, Sam. It’s okay."

Her voice was so sweet and pure and familiar, like all the times he had heard her say his name in his dreams. And that’s how he knew not to trust it. 

"Sam, baby—"

"Don’t!" he shouted, angrily, though he knew it was no use. "Don’t do that…" His voice trailed off.

Her face softened, sadly, as she approached him. He would have continued to crawl back away from her if he thought he could escape. But if this was a new form of mental torment there would be no where for him to go, so he stayed where he fell back on his elbows, already defeated, shaking in his fear and rage as her sweet face descended upon him. She knelt beside him, kissed his face with her soft lips, hugged his neck, and rubbed his back soothingly. It was intoxicating. Even though he knew she was just a tool to hurt him, he wasn’t strong enough to keep tears from falling from his eyes, he wasn’t strong enough to keep himself from breathing her in. She was so real.

_So real._

_“_ Do you know where you are?” she whispered against his ear. 

Sam nodded against her shoulder. 

"I don’t think you do." She pulled away and placed his hand on her chest, over her heart, looking deep into his eyes. She was warm and the beat was strong and it seemed to be racing just a little bit. "Look around you."

Sam jerked his head around to take in his surroundings. The entertainment unit that had taken him forever to set up because he kept misplacing the right chords was across the room, the couch Jess had found for a discount at a department store in the mall downtown was to his left, the coffee table his old room mate had given him when he moved out of their dorm and into this place with Jess was directly in front of him. This was their apartment as if nothing terrifying had ever occurred there. This was Jess as if she was never brutally and strategically murdered.

_But she was._

A hint of dawning realization hit Sam’s face, but he still couldn’t trust it. His eyes landed skeptically back on Jess’s face. She brushed her hand across his cheek. “Sam,” she said. “You’re in Heaven.” The words didn’t completely make sense to him, but against all reason his doubt started to melt away as he stared at her beautiful smile. 

"How…?" he breathed.

Jess laughed. “You  _earned_  it.” Sam’s brow furrowed. He wanted desperately to believe that he could be so lucky to have accidentally made it here, but to be told he  _deserved_  it? His expression gave him away. “You did!” Jess assured him. “You’ve always had a place here,” she gestured towards the space in the room. “And especially now.”

"So the Trials?"

"You did it. It’s done." She threw her arms around him again. "I’ve been watching you, waiting. I’m  _so_  proud of you.”

He held her tight. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered. A tear dripped down the tip of his nose.

She shushed him sweetly. “It’s okay now. You don’t have to anymore.”


End file.
